A story of premature birth and the NICU roller coaster

A nice day for a visit


Today we had a decent day. It was about 50 degrees out and the sun was shining for a bit. We went to Letchworth State Park for some much needed relaxation. Nature has a way of making you forget your worries for a little while. Before we went we stopped to visit Saif. Daddy cleaned up the area on and around his stone and we couldn’t help but notice he has a new neighbor. I knew there were other plots nearby but I had assumed they would stay empty for years to come as they were sized for babies. It made me very sad and curious to know what could have happened to the little boy or girl who now resides next to him. My husband and I got angry thinking maybe this poor baby went through something similar to Saif. We prayed for a few minutes and I included this baby and his or her parents/family, hoping they were better equipped at dealing with their loss. I feel however like maybe now Saif has an angel friend to keep him company , this may be the little ray of hope or sun in this scenario. I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that so many parents out there are going through what we are going through. Until it happens to you, you don’t think it happens all that much. You find out there are people all around mourning the loss of their children, some if not most…never talk about it…grieving in silence. It makes you think. I’m grateful that we were able to unwind at Letchworth. I had never been there before. It was breathtaking. I walked so much that I’m sure to be feeling it in the morning. It was awesome. I got some great pictures. It was especially nice seeing my husband relax and smile. We wish Saif was there to kick around the leaves but God willing he was watching over us. Hopefully this nice weather finds you all out there too. Especially the hurricane victims, those still in the dark without power.


Some pictures of my Saif




How I spent my birthday last year…October 17th




This was the best and most memorable birthday thus far. Thank God I have pictures and video.


My new friends



These were custom made for me. I ordered them from my cousin who knits and I love them. My son loved his giraffe and zebra animals in the hospital so I felt I needed something to remind me of him. They just came in today.