A story of premature birth and the NICU roller coaster

Tis the season…

I wanted to take a minute to say happy holidays to everyone ,no matter what holiday you celebrate. I hope that everyone is blessed in some way this season. It sucks that my son isn’t here but I feel he is with me in spirit. Simply put I wish for comfort to all those suffering with the loss of a child or loved one. I especially pray for those that suffered in Sandy Hook. I know I am suffering my sons loss but having your child or loved one brutally murdered, for that I have no words. I can’t imagine how this holiday will be for them. I guess it all depends on your faith and family and friends to get you through. I hope some joy shines through for each of those suffering and trying to make sense of it all this Christmas or other holiday event. I wonder if Saif got to meet these angels…something I ponder. Well I hope this season leaves you with some new sense of hope however hard it is to imagine you can find joy again…you will.



Massacre in a Connecticut school, children and staff among the deceased

This is the most tragic story of children and staff members in Newtown Connecticut loosing their lives by a gun wielding lunatic. I have family that live about an hour from this area and it shook me to my core. I pray for the parents and loved ones of the deceased. Please read this article.

Lt. Paul Vance of the Connecticut state police confirms both students and staff of the Sandy Hook Elementary School are among the fatalities, as is the suspected shooter.

By Pete Williams, Miguel Llanos and Tracy Connor, NBC News

Updated at 5:26 p.m. ET: A teacher’s son — clad in black and carrying two pistols — rampaged through a Connecticut elementary school Friday, killing 20 small children and six adults, including his mother, in the nation’s second-worst school shooting, law enforcement officials said.
For up-to-the-minute coverage of the tragedy at Sandy Creek Elementary, stay with, and tune in to your local NBC station to watch tonight’s special reports on NBC Nightly News and Dateline NBC.
The gunman, identified as Adam Lanza, 20, was also found dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, law enforcement officials said. Officials initially told NBC News the gunman was Lanza’s brother, Ryan, who is cooperating with investigators and said Adam has a history of mental illness, according to a senior official.
An unidentified woman was also found fatally shot in the face at a home in Newtown after police showed up with there a bomb squad, officials said.

Lanza’s mother is a kindergarten teacher at the hilltop school, and most of the dead were found inside her classroom, according to
Some young survivors — ages 5 to 10 — described the terror of the shooting and a massive police response that included SWAT officers going room to room to search for victims as students huddled in classroom corners.
Robert Licata said his 6-year-old son was in class when the gunman burst in and shot the teacher.
“That’s when my son grabbed a bunch of his friends and ran out the door,” he told the Associated Press. “He was very brave.”
One student told NBC Connecticut she was in the gym when she heard “seven loud booms.”
“The gym teachers told us to go in the corner, so we all huddled,” she said. “And I kept hearing these booming noises. And we all … started crying.
“All the gym teachers told us to go into the office where no one could find us,” she added. “So then a police officer came in and told us to run outside. So we did and we came in the firehouse.”
More coverage: and’s coverage of the incident
The high death toll and the tender age of many victims sent shock waves all the way to the White House, where the flag was lowered to half-staff.
President Obama, his voice cracking at times, said he reacted to the tragedy first as a parent.
“Our hearts are broken today,” he said. “The majority of those who died today were children. Beautiful little kids between the ages of five and ten years old.”
Authorities in the small bedroom community 60 miles from New York City were alerted to the unfolding carnage by a 911 call around 9:30 a.m., and then reached out to state police and neighboring police departments for help.

An elementary school student recalls the terrifying moments following sounds of shots fired at her Connecticut elementary school, saying “teachers told us to go in the corner so we all huddled.”

Connecticut State Police Lt. Paul Vance said troopers fanned out across the school and searched “every door, every crack, every crevice” of the building.
Most of the bodies were found in two rooms in one section of the 600-student school, which goes up to the fourth grade.
Two children were taken to Danbury Hospital, but they died. A third person was being treated at the hospital, which went into lockdown mode and cleared trauma rooms as doctors waited for an influx of survivors that never came.
After police finished searching the school and determined there was only one gunman, they led the children outside, telling them to close their eyes, apparently to avoid seeing anything gruesome.
At a staging area ringed by police vehicles that raced to the school from across the state, the dazed and crying kids were reunited with worried loved ones.
Brenda Lebinski, mother of a third-grader, said she found a “horrendous” scene.
“Everyone was in hysterics — parents, students. There were kids coming out of the school bloodied. I don’t know if they were shot, but they were bloodied,” she said, according to Reuters.

One parent picking up his 7-year-old son said the shooting was “the most terrifying moment a parent can imagine.” He went on to describe the anguish of waiting to find out if his son was a victim and then running to his child when he saw him.
“It was the greatest relief in my existence,” the father said. “I’m just happy that my kid’s OK.”
Two 9mm handguns were recovered from the scene, an official told A rifle was found in the back of a car parked outside the school.
The FBI was assisting with the widening investigation, and authorities said there were many unanswered questions, including the motive.
“There is a great deal of search warrant activity…in and out of the state,” Vance said, without giving specifics.
Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy was meeting with grieving families.
“As you can imagine, the governor is horrified by what’s happened,” said aide Roy Occhiogrosso.
The death toll is the highest from a school shooting since a gunman killed 32 people at Virginia Tech in 2007. At Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, two teens killed 13 people and wounded 24 in 1999.

Parent Stephen Delgiadice, whose 8-year-old daughter was not hurt, said he never could have imagined such bloodshed in the quiet town of 27,000, where the police force has only three detectives.
“It’s alarming, especially in Newtown, Connecticut, which we always thought was the safest place in America,” he told The Associated Press.
Obama said Friday’s shooting, following the massacre at a movie theater in Aurora, Colo., and other murder sprees, showed the need for “meaningful action…regardless of the politics” to prevent more blood from being spilled.
New York City Mayor Bloomberg, who has been pushing for tougher gun laws, called for Washington to act immediately.
“Not even kindergarteners learning their A, B, Cs are safe,” he said. “We heard after Columbine that it was too soon to talk about gun laws. We heard it after Virginia Tech. After Tucson and Aurora and Oak Creek. And now we are hearing it again.”
Slideshow: Connecticut school massacre

Michelle Mcloughlin / Reuters
The second deadliest school shooting in U.S. history sent crying children spilling into the school parking lot as frightened parents waited for word on their loved ones.



The Kindness of a Stranger….continued




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The Kindness of a Stranger




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Phenylketonuria Or PKU

Phenylketonuria (PKU) is a rare condition in which a baby is born without the ability to properly break down an amino acid called phenylalanine.(please follow the link below)

I recently found out that a woman’s grandson who is a week old was rushed to the local hospital. He was diagnosed with PKU. Somehow the pediatrician nor the hospital he was born at mentioned that this was picked up on the Newborn Screening as best I can tell. I’m not sure of the particulars but the hospital told the parents the baby has only a 10% chance of living. They were told there isn’t much they can do and that the baby will end up mildly to severely impaired or something to that end. I didn’t know what to say but since this baby is in the same hospital where my son died it has me on the edge of my seat. I am praying for a miracle and the best possible hospital staff for him. I worry about the baby’s parents. Mostly I pray this baby defies the odds. I looked this PKU diagnosis up and there is hope if the baby is kept on a strict diet. I don’t know what the plan is and I shouldn’t ask the babies grandmother, as its not my business and I’ve probably already imposed to much as is. I just feel like somehow I should do something. She politely and somewhat firmly suggested I just pray for them. I should take the hint. It’s hard to keep my mouth shut when I know what can go wrong at that hospital, but I’m going to think positive and stay optimistic ….which is the only advice I could give to her. I believe in miracles and I pray this baby is one.


This was very touching

Grief: One Woman's Perspective

This is my sincere wish and prayer for all bereaved parents this holiday season – and all through the years that it takes to integrate such a huge loss into the fabric of our lives – that more gentleness and caring would be shared with those who have lost someone especially dear, that more gladness and warmth would be unconditionally shared, that time would be time taken amidst the daily and holiday bustle to recognize the depth of grief behind the mask and the silence of the face, and that a hand of genuine and continued friendship and love would grasp those who are hurting and who so badly need comfort. Sometimes those who deeply grieve aren’t transparent with their grief (for wide and varied reasons of their own); sometimes people around those who deeply grieve don’t take the time to notice or don’t take the time to do anything…

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7 month old died, the victim of a drunk driver, mother in hospital


This poor little girl ,Baylee, was out with her mother at about 9am in the morning, when a drunk driver collided with their vehicle. Baylee’s mom was hospitalized and poor Baylee became an angel. A Senseless tragedy, and right before the holidays. I know the feeling of Child loss obviously, but for it to happen in this way, by a drunk driver in the morning…..I just can’t wrap my head around it. This poor family, I pray for them at this time. Sadly this isn’t the first or last of such tragedies. I don’t even know what to do or say but I felt this story needed to be shared. I’m deeply saddened for this baby and her family. I don’t know why the girl that hit their car was drunk at that hour of the morning. I wonder what her life must have been like to be on the road like that. I feel her living through this unharmed is going to be torture enough. She will have to live everyday knowing what she did. I pray nobody else has to suffer loss at all in a tragic way…wishful thinking I know but it is my greatest hope.